Tag Archives: company values

where can LGBT people buy lingerie?

The easy answer is, wherever they want! But that’s also kind of like saying that anyone in America can achieve the American Dream and be a billionaire if they work hard enough (and we all know that’s not true).

A lot factors into where we shop. Just look at how your own shopping habits have changed from the time you were a teenager to where you are now. Consider such basic factors as where you grew up, changes in socioeconomic status, education level, and also social factors like the brand loyalties of family members and close friends. Major influences.

Sexuality is also a component that informs us as consumers. On the one hand, it can be political — seriously, find me a queer or an ally who will eat at Chick-Fil-A. But it can be more subtle. Some environments range from uncomfortable to hostile for LGBT people, for a variety of reasons. So if we reframe the question more carefully: where can LGBT people buy underthings where…

Chantal Thomass' flagship store on the Rue Saint-Honore in Paris. An intimidating storefront, even for me.

Chantal Thomass’ flagship store on the Rue Saint-Honoré in Paris. An intimidating storefront, even for me.

a) they will be treated like a potential customer

— meaning: they won’t be judged for what they look like (e.g. gender presentation, “alternative lifestyle haircuts,” piercings/tattoos, and/or the general assumptions about socioeconomic class that boutique owners make on a regular basis. also includes how they’re treated when shopping with someone who is obviously their partner — is the staff comfortable around them? does the staff prohibit partners from seeing each other in the dressing room?)

Gap Body Window Display - cause men and women are "born to fit together"

Gap Body Window Display – cause men and women are “born to fit together”

b) assumptions won’t be made about their sexuality

— meaning: In a store, solo shoppers won’t have to deal with staff saying “Your boyfriend would love that!” (Even if he would). Online, they won’t have to deal with gift buying guides, wish list registries, and general language explicitly tailored to male customers, implying that the only people who would buy lingerie as gifts are male partners. This is harmful for EVERYONE because it not only reinforces lingerie as 1) heteronormative but 2) it positions lingerie-wearers as objects for the male gaze.

Victoria's Secret - Chicago

Victoria’s Secret – Chicago

c) they have options in styles they find appealing

— meaning: LGBT people are people! They don’t just want to wear the high femme underthings stocked in so many brick & mortar and online boutiques. This is a particularly acute issue for LGBT persons with a more androgynous and/or butch sensibility.

Hopeless Lingerie

Hopeless Lingerie

d) they actually feel comfortable

— meaning: safe. accepted. valued. seen.

So, is there a place for LGBT people to buy lingerie that is explicitly identity- and values- affirming?

A scant handful. Sway Lingerie is one of the only explicitly queer-identified lingerie websites in existence, and their claim to fame is in pairing erotic stories with lingerie. Wishes and Kisses is explicitly geared towards men and trans* people who buy lingerie, and their selection is excellent. The language the owner uses about the trans* community is outdated, but the desire to treat her customers with respect is also communicated. I have mixed feelings about the language used on the website; it’s ultimately a personal judgement call.

A lot of the issues that face LGBT customers are not uncommon. The desire for a wider range of styles, the frustration with the singular presentation of heterosexuality in the industry, and the general feeling of a lack of safety and comfort when lingerie shopping is something I hear about on a regular basis. It’s disturbing. Customers should not feel unsafe in a store. People should not feel unsafe, ever.

My goal with Bluestockings is to create a safe space in which people can explore and play with lingerie and underthings. It’s fun! It’s for us. So, how do we make that space?

1. Include you. Use inclusive language that doesn’t make assumptions about how you live your life.

2. Show you our values (which may be your values, too). Offer a range of styles from indie designers (a lot of the designers we want to stock are women). Give you the chance to support a number of designers who are manufacturing ethically and/or staying local.

3. Represent you. And listen to you when we don’t. We take that “range of styles” thing seriously. And when you aren’t seeing what you like? Tell us! Let’s talk about it.

In curating this collection, I hope that the LGBT community gets just one more option — Bluestockings isn’t the answer, it’s not the end all and be all to what is a massive and systemic problem of representation in the lingerie and fashion industry, more broadly. But it will, hopefully, be a dent. Hopefully, a few brands will be willing to take a risk on an unknown online boutique with a mission. And hopefully, a few people will feel a little more seen.

P.S. Just cause we’re not open yet doesn’t mean we can’t start talking about what you as a customer want to see. And if you’re a designer who is on board with Bluestockings’ message and would be interested in talking options, you can email me at jeanna@bluestockingsboutique.com or message me on Twitter. It’s never too early to connect.

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bluestocking’s core four values

True story: trying to title your company values in a non-cheesy way is kind of impossible.

In the end, I shamelessly stole the title from my mother. My mom has a nickname for the four most important people in her life: she calls us her “core four.” It’s not surprising that I thought of relationships, because it’s the people — the community — that are driving this idea.The idea for the store is about curating a collection of items and special delivering it to people who aren’t used to having those items chosen with them in mind, in an industry that all too often privileges particular kinds of bodies and identities and, however unintentionally, leaves those who don’t fit feeling — well, like they don’t fit.

With all of that in mind, these are bluestocking’s core four values:

1. Underthings are for everyone. Everyone should be able to shop in an environment where they feel accepted and safe.

2. Consent is critical. It’s not enough to say I’m a feminist-minded businessperson — I’ve got to follow through. This means prioritizing consent at every stage, from how I conduct market research right now in the startup phase to how sales associates interact with customers in the eventual brick & mortar store (read: not pressuring people to buy).

3. Representation is a practice, not an idea. It is vital to actively curate a bold selection of high quality lingerie in a variety of styles and sizes that is identity-affirming and ethically made. The most important piece of the puzzle? To have it in stock and not in the back corner.

4. Support the community we’re a part of and the broader world we live in. This is a small business. That means putting a premium on connecting with other small businesses. It means supporting and stocking independent designers who use resources local to their regions and who engage in ethical, sustainable business practices.

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